May or May Not Monday

May or May-Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure. So go on... own up. I may have...

I may or may not have read back through my blog up til last March. Oh the typos from pecking this out on my phone! Forgive me or at least overlook them and don't hold it against my character. They will continue to happen seemingly regularly because if these are going to happen, it's through pecking on the phone. I make very little time to sit in front of a computer. Why should I when one fits in my hand? The other thing I noticed was I am a champion launderer and folder, but fall exceedingly short on the putter it away category. 

I may or may not have used three, count them, adverbs in that last confession and am doomed to being a writing failure, per the general consensus of the writing community. Why do they hate adverbs so much? This escapes me. 

I may or may not have developed splinter hemorrhages in my fingers this week and found myself at the dr. Initially, I gave two vials of blood for testing. The next day I was told to come back in for another draw because those tests were negative. I drove back with kids in tow and saw the phlebotomist. She informs me she is taking 16 vials. No big deal. Well, it's not if you have normal blood volume. I don't. I'm low and not allowed to give donations in general. On the 10th, I warned her I was getting dizzy. My arm was hurting at the tourniquet. On the 12th, I warned her of my dizziness again. By the 13th, I was blacked out.  She starts yelling "Sir, Sir!! Are you alright!?" Repeatedly. I could still hear and thought well I guess I should try to wake up for her sake and not scaring the littles. Once she released the tourniquet, I was back. She raced out to get me and the littles minute maid apple juice. She's a mom and knew you can't very well give the mom snacks and not the kids. I quickly glanced over the ingredients to make sure there wasn't any of my allergies on there and guzzled two cans. For the sake of being able to drive back home.  I normally would not touch that chemical ridden not real food juice. I also let my littles drink it so they would stop touching things for thirty seconds. She actually said, my husband wanted a second boy but I'm glad it was a girl. That's how hands on the littles are. While I sat there recovering for the next ten minutes, the littles received a through education on all things plasma and blood testing and storing. Best homeschool field trip ever! All the while the littles had no idea I acted anything but normal. And they think being a phlebotomist is pretty cool.

I may or may not be considering eating liver to pump my blood and nutrient level back up, because after three days of salt, it's not cutting it. And I'm on my own for three days. 

During my time recovering, I may or may not have spent a portion of it watching day time television. It's so, so very bad. Embarrassing really. Thanks to Rachel Ray, I know the trends for 2016: men's pajamas belted with heels and mermaid hair that looks like my little pony hair. You're better for knowing too. You're welcome. 

I may or may not have had the conversation of why we need to wear underwear out of the house. After six years, I thought this was intuitive and understood. 

I hosted book club this week and may or may not have used a sweater eater on my couch to get the lint off. It totally worked! The couch looked not brand new but decent for book club. But after a weekend of family movies - Narnia marathon - it's looking worn again. 

The garage may or may not have been undecorated from a birthday party thrown Veterans Day. You do the math. All the balloons were still going strong and the streamers still were sticking. And best news of all, no paint came down in the process. The paint thing had me on pins and needles. 

I may or may not have sent my boys down to the neighborhood restaurant for dinner the night of hosting book club so I didn't have to cook and clean up dinner. Also so I could have quiet while getting the hot chocolate, salted shortbread cookies, and cheesecake ready. You want to join the club now don't ya. It cost $30 for three adult burgers. I'm not sure that price was worth my quiet. I should have spent five and made them burritos and a salad. 

For any of you concerned about my blood test results, I'm waiting for the dr to call. My chart email came and said to check my chart for the results but 1) I don't know what tests were run or how to read the results 2) I have never set up access to the account so I'd have to call to get the information. I'm waiting patiently and calmly for the dr to call. 

For fun see just how terrible a writer I am by counting the adverbs ;) Regardless, I like adverbs too much to leave them out. It's mean.