Looking at my own experience of constantly moving as a child, it took me two months to stop hating the new place and accept that I wasn't ever going back to the old place. Ever. And even if I did, none of my friends would still be there and thus, that place that I lived didn't exist anymore. Two months of being angry and mourning the loss in life and then move forward to make a life in the new place for the short amount of time I would live there.
Asking others if their families have gotten used to the routine yet, the answer is still no. All of us acknowledge that it is not as bad as the beginning. No, it's not as bad. My second child has moved past refusing to get out of the car and insisting on waiting the entire three hours buckled up in his car seat waiting for his brother to come back. He is not spending the three hours crying for his brother. He is not constantly saying he misses his brother. He is still in mourning, but not as deep mourning as in the beginning.
Tiredness is a factor that isn't making the change simple. They just aren't morning people. Even getting 11 or 12 hours of sleep doesn't necessitate they function well for getting up early. Early for us -- 7:30. The new schedule is making them very tired. And tiredness produces grumpiness, whininess & attitudes. Which equals constant strain on my patience. My oldest is crazier at home because he has to sit "still for him" for three hours. To which I am told isn't as still as they would like. We are very fortunate to have a great back yard for getting the wiggles out with great adventures. To combat and ease the pain of separation, after school is brother time. It is brother time until bedtime. They need that focus to restore their relationship and give the feeling of belonging and completeness.
I appreciate the sick days. I don't appreciate that my children are sick. The byproduct of calmness and relaxation in the schedule are what I appreciate. The togetherness of our family is what I appreciate. The lack of expectations in schedule are what I appreciate. So far we've had far less sickness than I expected. Only three viruses so far in two months. On par for what we got when we weren't in school. This week has been a pretty intense week of sickness. My kindergartener has missed the whole week. He slept 14 hours last night and got up at 10am (our preferred wake up time). I slept for 5 -- 5am to 10am. The virus made it's way to my second non school child and I finally was able to get his fever to break at 4:30am. I thought it might have been premature to celebrate the virus working through his system with his fever breaking. He began puking later. And yet, I am far calmer in my heart because we are not having to deal with the change school as wreaked on our lives right now. I'm even flying solo this week parenting and yet still have a calmer heart than I expected. I don't have to watch my youngest child's heart hurting and I don't have to worry about my oldest getting enough rest to meet the requirements of school. During sick week we have togetherness. I am thankful that the togetherness is so vital to our family unit. The bonds of brotherhood and friendship are restored. And that makes this momma not feel like our world is out of control and always slipping out of grasp for getting the balance in equilibrium.
It's getting better but it's still not comfortable and a predictable routine. The feeling that a permanence of chaos will never go away is fading. Two months hasn't been long enough for us to adjust. We are moving forward in progress. When we find that magic number for adjustment to change, I will get back on here and let you know. For now we are three boys and a girl slowly trying to figure out navigating life and keeping the family unit joyful and in balance.
"When the winds of change blow,
some people build walls
others build windmills."
May we teach our children to be builders of use rather than resistance.
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