May or May Not Monday

May or May-Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure. So go on... own up. I may have...

I may or may not have a hard time doing these when I'm sad. Hence skipping last week and forcing myself to complete it this week. Tomorrow is my ovary removal procedure at 12:45 MST for all of you inclined to pray and everyone who is curious. It's a routine procedure. An hour long and laparoscopic. In through my belly button and on each side of my waist. I don't tolerate anesthesia well ( seizures and vomiting occur waking up) and the same happens with any mess stronger than IBUPROFEN and Tylenol. Recovery will be with just those over the counter drugs. I'm not looking forward to the suffering or the interruption in life for my family. We have wonderful support in our community that have generously offered their help. We will be fine. I'm just sad about the necessity of the surgery. My life has been hijacked by pain long enough. 

I may or may not have had helpers put their folded laundry in the appropriate places and felt a brand new page had been turned in my life. Joyful I went in to get clothes for bedtime only to find the clothes thrown, stuffed and strewn in their closet instead. Page very much not turned. 

I may or may not have decided to make trellises out of wood left by the original owners. It was going to be cheap too. It was until the cost of spray paint got involved. Now the price has doubled and I still am wanting to by galvanized wash tubs for planters to go in front of them! Cheap? Nah, nothing is cheap. 

It may or may not have poured every time I set out to paint the wood for the trellises. A weekend project has been put on hold until I recover from surgery due to weather related difficulties. My husband joked to me about moving to the high desert and the grass yet to die in the four winters we've endured due to all the precipitation. This was not the norm of his childhood here. 

I may or may not have been happy and annoyed at losing an hour yesterday. Happy that it meant my husband is away for a work trip one less hour. Annoyed by the disruption to sleep. 

I may or may not have read out loud for a total of five hours in four days last week. I found a new appreciation for public speakers. My throat still hurts. But our heads are full of delightful stories. Particularly one about worms was very educational and helped explain the mass slaughter of worms on the streets and sidewalks from the deluge of rain this week. 

I may or may not think there should be fashion lines for summer/fall, fall/winter, winter, winter/spring, and spring/summer. I tried to find comfy sweat pants for my surgery and was met with tanks and shorts or light light weight pants. It's slated to snow tomorrow. Why can't stores be more practical?! Not an all or nothing game with the clothes completely out of season? I've had this question my entire life. 



Well I tried. But sadness prevailed and I think I could not be so light as I would have wanted. And it's okay to feel.